my last post was indeed depressing. i wrote it in a blur of emotion and thoughts that were spinning a thousand miles an hour.
i just wanted to say that i am happy, and i am grateful for the friends i have. i also feel like i needed to explain my situation.

i live in a town that is in America's top 5 pot spots. everyone around here drinks, cusses, smokes, chewes, is a skank and all around lost as a goose. rednecks, hicks, racists. we got them here.

there are a few homeschoolers in the area. but let's face it.
homeschoolers have a tendancy to be really weird. thankfully, there's a bunch of good ones out there i know, and we've been blessed to know a few of them. sadly, most have moved out of the area.
when i was younger i had a few really close, good christian friends in the area, but we all grew up and they moved away to college. it sucks.

so..i may not have many Christian peers who live near me right now, but God *is* teaching me that i have who i need and that He will bring the right people in to my life when it's right. i just need to be patient. i have my family and church family, i have friends who live a long way away, and although it gets hard. very hard, i'm really ok. lonely at times, desperately so, yes. but this is where God has me and i'm good with it. i'll keep praying and hoping for friends, i won't give up on that.

anywho. i'm tired and tomorrow i'm gonna ride my Ellie may horse out in the snow cos i've never ridden in the snow before. it should be fun. ^_^

x-noni

(warning: do not read if spirits are high)

i hate long distance relationships. i hate getting attached to someone you never spend real time with.

but i am lonely and so i reach out to people who aren't near and it's painful for a lot of reasons.

i used to be ashamed of the fact that i've spent very little time with people my own age. i honestly don't even know how to act around Christians my age. now that i've been working somewhere for 2 months, i know how to act around people who cuss and talk about sex constantly. but how to act around godly young ones? it's a weird and rare experience when it does happen. and wonderful. i certainly know how to act around adults, i have so many great adults friends and i am so thankful for them. sometimes i feel guilty when i say i have no friends. because i'll always have that group of adults friends. i've always had adults friends. but it's very different, having adult friends vs. peers.

i keep waiting to find a real friend, someone who i see regularly. someone i can touch, smell, hear their laugh. someone real.

i keep waiting.

and waiting. and it gets really hard. it's really hard when you meet someone your age and you think, "maybe this one!".

and then you find out they don't really need you and aren't really interested in having any more friends, because like everyone else, they've got plenty of "good christian friends". i don't mean to sound like i'm throwing myself a pity party.

it's just how it is, and how it's been for a long time.

i actually thought i'd get used to it.

ha.

wow. i should go take a nap. see, this is me thinking. fantastic, huh?

xx-noni

i have a vision for this new blog and i wanted to share a bit about it.

first of all, in case any of you were wondering when i plan to have it ready to go, it'll probably be next year or sometime very close to next year.

i want this blog to be refreshing for me and you. i want to post more of my art work, more of my creative writing, more 'deep thoughts' posts.

basically, i want there to be more inspiring going on, more creating and more being myself. 

i've never been a big fan of using other people's photography (even if it's typography) or other people's art work for my blog.

so this time around, everything i post picture-wise will be made my yours truly. if on the rare occasions when i do post someone elses art work i will give proper credit and i won't be posting it because i'm to lazy to do something of my own.

well there you have it, i've been thinking a lot lately about this new blog and i'm

pretty darn excited and i hope you are too.

So today we have 11" of snow, with some drifts reaching 2'.

:D 

it's time to go picture taking.

xx-noni

we're iced/sleeted/snowed in here in good ole' bipolar mo. just a few days ago i was out and about in just a t-shirt. crazy beans.

but being iced in means free time.

time to draw, time to read, and design and eat cookies. time to hang out with family and get out the tree.

 

ahh...i missed this.

xx-noni

p.s.

unfortunately this also means missing work and the prepping for finals with teachers tomorrow and having the worlds worst internet in the galaxy. blah.

oh well, i'll focus on the pros. ;)

i put up a new picture by my desk. every few weeks or so i go searching through my giant stacks of national geographics for a new photograph. the last one was of a little girl and her mum standing on a cement bank by the sea somewhere in southern america.
i don't really know why i chose this photograph, i just liked it, so i put it up and have been staring at it for about 3 months now.
so i needed a change.
this time i chose a photo from the early 70's. it's a big lawn at golden hour and there are people spread out on the lawn, laying on blankets, sitting reading books and chatting with their friends. there's also a lot of people in the background walking around. i guess it might be from woodstock, honestly i didn't even read about it before i cut it out. they don't actually look like woodstock hippies anyway, excpet for the two guys with big beards, top hats and open shirts.
i like those guys.

i also sketched the above picture tonight, i like to keep my newest sketches open under the picture by my desk so i can see it every time i work at my desk. i like seeing my own work because it makes me happy and inspires me to make something else. i know every time i make something new i'll become more me, and that makes me happy.

the pictures are a good change.

and this kind of brings me to the point of this post.
i'm leaving this spot here and moving to a new place. this is a sudden decision, i just made up my mind about 15minutes ago. and i think it's a good decision and i think it will be a good change.

i've been here for 3 years maybe? and i've gone through at least 3 different blog titles. and now i just need a fresh place to start, new title, new pictures, hopefully new topics. more thinking and writing. more creating and being myself. i won't be deleting this blog, but i will be deleting all my other blogs and using a new link, which i will post later...once i actually get said new blog set up. ;)

 i'm excited about this change.

xx-noni

weekendings

the sunrise outside my window on friday morning.

         i've just had one of the craziest, best weekends ever! i went black friday shopping and found some epic christmas present bargains, plus a few things for myself. you know, the fun stuff like new coats and socks. ;) then on that same day i went to a Joshua Bell concert with some favourite people from Springfield. it was *amazing* and i still can't believe i saw Joshua Bell perform with the STL Orchestra. eeeep! crazy awesome time that! i also got to stand like 3 feet away from Bell at the meet and greet. that was pretty surreal, standing next to one of the worlds most talented and genius people of ever.
just wow.
it was a late night, i think we got home around 2pm, then the next day i worked in the morning and came home and had a fun night of hanging out with some other favourite people who were in town for the weekend. then on sunday my whole family was over and we celebrated thanksgiving and had a jolly time of it. i really love the times i get to spend with all of them, it was so relaxed and fun. i miss them as they're constantly touring and busy with their music.
i wouldn't mind joining them again.
that sunday night we stayed up late playing games and watching movies and laughing. after everyone went to sleep i had to stay up finishing my last essay of the semester. so now back to real life. i'm really excited about Christmas time coming up soon, i'm already planning a party and really hoping everyone can make it.

even though i may not have friends my age around here (they've all moved away or live in Springfield) i'm still blessed with an amazing family and an awesome church family. it's hard and lonely at times, but God is faithful and i'm way undeserving of everything i have and everyone in my life.

also.

i'm thinking again.

xx-noni

adfasfd

So i've had instagram for a few weeks...and, let's just say i'm really addicted.
i post almost daily and sometimes probably to much but i don't really care. it's fun and easy and you should get it if you don't have it. ^_^

xx-noni

art by Pablo Montealegre

i haven't been writing lately because i haven't been thinking lately.

 to think is to be alive.

i don't really feel alive.

it's kinda weird.

last weekend me and my little family went to my sister and brother-inlaw's place for the weekend. they put on this giant, carnival themed birthday party for their son, it was seriously adorable. my mom made him a ringmaster outfit, so i took a lot of pictures. because he's gorgeous and all that jazz. and so now i shall bombard you with a ridiculous amount of cute.

 

the last 3 are him and his 2nd cousin, they were pretty darn cute together and i'm excited to spend thanksgiving with both of them here in a few weeks. :))


xx-noni

i take as many naps as i can.

problem is i have more trouble waking up from naps than i do in the mornings.

things have been a wee bit hectic lately, but the semester is almost over.

i'm a little tired. tired of these catch up posts and never having enough time to read any blogs. a little tired of procrastination and then cramming.

a little tired of my messy room and my bed that never gets made.

just a little tired.

xx-noni