Sunday, April 22, 2012

not what i expected

bear with me, i'm about to ramble.

today didn't really didn't fit my expectations. of course, planned things never fit my expectations. something always happens to shake things up a bit, sometimes its good things, sometimes its bad.

today started off early, went to prayer meeting with dad and brother, which was really great, first time and i loved it. it was so encouraging to hear the prayers of people after God's own heart.
i went home with friends for the afternoon, and then they dropped me off at another friends house for a game party. thats where things went sorta wrong. i was rather nervous, but that subsided quickly enough. i didn't have as much fun as i thought i would, but i still laughed a lot and everyone enjoyed themselves, then something came up and me an brother {plus brothers friend} had to leave early.
oddly, i wasn't sad to leave.
when i got home i was rather melancholy though, so i played the cello for a bit, watched some Rango, ate to much food, watched some Psych and laughed my guts out, and now i'm just feeling content. i don't know why, but i just am.
i know i could choose to be really upset right now, bummed out and depressed, but thats MY choice. and i won't choose it. i could let my mood get the best of me, but it doesn't make me very happy.
tis not the end of the world, my dear.
its just the beginning for us.

this song has really encouraged me. i truly pray that if everything was taken away from me, i'd still be joyful and thankful in my God.
He's been showing me so much today, this morning my pastor really hit a cord with me when he was teaching through the The Sermon on the Mount. {<<click on that if your interested in hearing my awesome pastor} i know its that one part of the bible all of us feel we've heard a thousand times. i know i felt that way. but it was made new to me this week. i'm so blessed, did you know blessed means inner peace {and spiritual prosperity}? i am blessed. truly i always will be, but i guess its something you can choose too. i can choose to accept inner peace. even if its not so simple sometimes.
i also heard this cool quote-
'There is nothing in life but what was in the heart first' {thomas manton}

there's so much truth in that, and it really hit home with me, but i think it ought to hit home with all of us.
so anyway, that was my ramble for the month. i can't believe there's only one more week of april.
its not been the easiest month of the year so far, {rather emotional} so i'm kinda ready for may to be here already.. as if things will magically get better, won't they? ;)
i hope everyone of ya have a wonderful week, i know i will try my darnest to.
peace out,


  1. You play the cello? Wow! Talented! (That instruement looks pretty hard!)

    I hope things get a bit easier for you for the rest of April. We all have those times... I'll pray for you.

  2. <3 I'm sorry. *hug*
    I'm praying your April gets better. ^_^ <3 <3