Tuesday, September 27, 2011


There is a battle going on right now..The battle of "keep the blog or ditch it?!" I can't make up my mind.  A lot of me wants to ditch it, cause blogging for me just hasn't seemed very natural. I'm never satisfied with what I end up saying, I feel like I might as well write an e-mail and send it to my beastie..I'd get more respons out of it that way..I know that for sure <3
But another part of me, really doesn't want to give up the blog.. Sometimes there's just something satisfying in getting words out there, even if they are just gonna go unread. 
Another thing that makes me want to throw this blog business out the window, is the fact that my mind, CAN'T function with background noise and talking! I have to be alone. I have to have silence. PLEASE DONT TALK TO ME. PLEASE DONT ASK FOR THE COMPUTER AT THIS MOMENT. I MIGHT KILL YOU! :)
But that is kinda impossible in this house...there's always *something* going on to distract me. Someone always asks for the computer. Tho politely . And I try to be polite back. Truly..I do =)

  Perhaps if I had a laptop of my own and was able to seclude myself in my cozy bedroom, fan on, window open, and sitting comfortably on my bed, then, just then, would my thoughts come clearly. I know that would work. Cos when I write in my journal, when the house is quiet, the door is closed and my Christmas lights are on, I write so clearly. It makes me feel..content, in a silly way. But I'm a poor child. Who can't afford a laptop. Or a decent camera, or a cello that I soo long for. But its ok. Don't feel sorry for me. I truly have enough "things" in my life. ;) I really AM blessed..but oh goodness..I'm praying hard for that cello!
In fact right now. I'm the only one in the room. moms in the back room talking (which is somewhat disturbing) but still. Its SO much easier for me to blog with nothing going on. Maybe thats just something I need to get over tho..
Of course, thats so not the only thing that makes blogging frustrating for me. Its also the fact that I never seem to have my photo's organized, or ready to be posted, and I can never find the time to blog, that is unless I simply ignore the things that I need to get done and just DO it. And personally. I hate doing that. I hate doing something I WANT to do, when there is still something to be done that I HAVE to do and DONT want to do.
For instance. I have to go clean the kitchen. Right now. But I dont wanna. So I'm putting it off. And blabbering away here. And I have this feeling of urgency. like. if I don't do those dishes RIGHT NOW. The world might crumble one me or something ridiculous like that.
Dads home! :) Oh..but  now I know I wont be able to think right cos there will be conversation flowing. Maybe I'll put in ear plugs and shut the door till I'm done :).
I don't in any way expect the whole world to stop functioning just to I can type furiously away trying to say things that I dont know how to say. But oh Good Lord help me get this over with,  cos another thing I might add. Is that I take WAY to much time to blog. Constantly re-reading, and editing makes me kinda dizzy :p

I *think* all I'm tying to say is. Right now. My thoughts are to muddled to get out clearly on a daily basis. And I'm really awful at finding the right times to blog. I'm not so good as doing it consistently, or uploading organizing and editing pictures when I should.
So I think I've made my mind up. I'm just going to take a break.  I dont know how long it will be. Maybe once I get myself and my blogging skillz organized, thought out and cleared. Maybe after my CA trip. Maybe never..who knows..I dont want to know, thats for sure.
 And you know the funniest thing about all this? I think this is the first post I'm truly satisfied with. Even after re-reading and re-reading and editing and clicking and dragging and backspacing . Bla!. oh, wouldn't you like to read the first draft, huh?

Saturday, September 17, 2011

 Starting from left to right. Rachel, Me, Tabitha Hamp, and Jonnah (:

Last week at this point, I was with my best friend and her family, at the Springfield zoo. Which btw, was a really cute little zoo and I liked it MUCH better than the St.Louis zoo (: But anyway. Last Friday we arrived in Springfield around 7, and my sister and brother in-law picked us up at Wallyworld and by the time we got to his families house, it was already 8. His little sister Rachel, who is 16 too, is my bf. (: It was awesome to get to see her and the Burks family (thats her family, lol) we played games and what not after awhile, then all the married couples left and me, Rachel and her sis Jonnah stayed up REALLY late watching a movie and talking. It was awesome.  I got like, one hour of horrible sleep that night, thanks to Rachel and Jonni's retarded love birds..gosh I hate those things.. :D
 Jonnah and Jerusha on the tire swing <3

Anywho. It was an awesome weekend, and it went by realllyyyy fast. We got home Sunday evening and I don't remember anything from that evening. lol. This whole week has really been a MESS and I'm pretty thankfully its the weekend :p Here in a little while me, mom, dad, and Gramma are going to head up to Arnold to see my cousins play music at a church. They are pretty stinking amazing..They play bluegrass, and even tho I dont like "traditional" blue grass, they are really original and not really, "traditional" lol, and I love to hear them play. So anyway. They are gonna come back to Fredmo and they might stay till Monday. Who knows. So I gotta go get ready, sorry this is kind of a silly post, but oh well :p So I better go..cos we have to leave in less than an hour :p Thankfully tho, my hair already looks epic, so now I just need to make my face match. ;)
Ttyl peoples, and God bless!!

 Me and Rachel, I tried to get her little bro Ethan in it, but he hates pictures, lol. :)

 The whole group that went to the zoo (sides Mrs. Burks, she was taking the pic, duh..lol) ok, left to right is Nathaniel, Leah, Jeri sitting on Jonnah's lap, Me, Benjamin in front of me, Rachel with Ethan, then Samuel...and there are 6 more kids in their family! 4 are married, then 2 guys that weren't fond of going to the zoo I guess, lol. They are a fun family (:

Thursday, September 8, 2011

YO! I hope everyone has had a wonderful week so far..cos I know I have! Sides having to do tons of school everyday..But I dont mind, cos I'm working ahead to make up for the CA trip! Me and dad ordered our tickets on Monday. I'm pretty exited. Tho I am trying not to think about it cos I still have another 4 or so weeks left before we leave..!
Tuesday I got to see my favorite 2yr old and 4yr olds ever. Gosh I love those boys! ^_^ They make me so happy. Specially Nathaniel (4yrold) he's my specially buddy..We love each other *very* much <3
 this is Luke...

 And that is Nathaniel. <3
Wednesday our Spanish class was canceled (thank the Lord!!!) and just me and Ezra went to church. At first no one was going, than just Ezra was going..then I decided to go. Thankfully I was already dressed in ok clothes..and I didn't even bother with makeup. lol
Today I slept in till 9, got up, and immediately did science. :p I hate science so much. But I finally got my test done and got a good grade ^_^ So anyway. Sides that I rode Ellie this morning. But then something broke on her halter so I  had to bring her back home. She is doing so good, but she does NOT like to turn to the right! and she always wants to go home instead of out in the field. Its rather frustrating.
Tomorrow I am going to Springfield with some friends who offered to give me a ride! I AM SO PSYCHED!! I haven't seen my beastie, Rachel,  in FOREVER! I saw her for one day in March, then for one day in May. Now I get to hopefully see her Friday evening, all day Saturday, and at least till noon on Sunday! ^_^ <3 We're gonna have loads of fun. I just hope the weather continues to be as gorgeous as it has been all week..It has gotten SOO cold at nights! Its crazy..I miss the pool sooo bad. :'( and I'm NOT enjoying this runny nose and scratchy throat at all.
Well. I gotta go get some house work done! :p
Have a lovely weekend everyone! I know I will! <3

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I love September. I dont know why. Just like I dont know why I hate August. But I do! I think its cos SEPTEMBER just sounds so FALL-ish! I *love* fall. Almost more than I love Summer! So far I've done nothing exiting this September sides plan a trip to CA with dad. ^_^  We are planning on leaving for CA the 6th of October, and staying till the 18th? Yeah. I think thats it. :D I haven't been to Cali in 4 stinking years!! Last time I was 12-going on 13, and it was a weird stage in life for me, and I was painfully QUIET around all my family out there. This time I'm 16 almost 17, and I'm not in a weird stage anymore, and hopefully I wont be as quiet! Lol! ^_^ I'll finally be getting to really meet my cousin Melanie who seems like a totally awesome person from the little I've gotten to know her on fb <3 I think we met once when I was 5...anywho. October can't get here fast enough!!!
So in the mean time, I'm going to try and get alot of school done, and me, mom and Ezra are taking Spanish at MAC, so I want to try and learn as much Spanish as I can before I go see all my Mexican cousins! Mom told me today that I really really need to practice my Spanish. And I was like, why? And she said,cos our teacher gave us a TON of Spanish to practice..I didn't realize. Lol. Mom says its easier for me cos Spanish WAS my first language :p and that she feels sorry for the other people in our class. Lucky for her tho, she is already fluent!
Anyway, sides school, I've not been very good at finding time to draw or sew, but hopefully that will happen when its colder outside. I'm so sad that soon we will be closing the pool.. :'(
Hehe, I just found THE real Sean Watkins on facebook. I'm kinda the pro as searching facebook to find the REAL people instead of just fans made profiles. Its super easy when you have cousins who have some pretty famous musicians on their friends list. xD like. um. Ron Block? I think thats where I started to find Watkins.
Sooo..this is turning into a boring life post. So I'll share some of my recent photography, and a picture of my hair cut!! Hope you love!

A few little girl friends of mine came over for an afternoon last week, and I took advantage of having someone else sides ME to model for me. They did a great job, even if it wasn't exactly what they had in mind when I told them I'd paint their faces. lol :)

And then my new hair! I pretty much love it, its so easy, I just have to spray a bit of gel in it, run my fingers through it and I'm good to go!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
Ok. Now blogger is freaking out and getting all jacked up. So I'mma get my rear off here and go swimming then practice Spanish.
And right now I'm totally addicted to a school book. :p
till who knows when..