Friday, August 30, 2013

hey! so i feel like my blog posts lately have been deepresssiinnggg.

sooo, i don't know what to do about that but let ya'll know i'm doing good. really, God has brought me through some hard times and is teaching me and growing me. He is so good and merciful, I don't deserve Him one bit. but He loves me anyway and is always so patient.

also, i just finished my 2nd week of full time college! it's going great, i'm making friends and loving my english class. and hating my history of art, and loving government, and hating algebra.
i have class everyday, tuesday's twice a day. i know that last year, when i only had 2 classes a week, i felt like it always interrupted my days horribly. but something is different this time and the classes haven't bothered me, i don't mind it and i'm still getting stuff done around home and enjoying life. every morning i'm up early for prayer walks (my driveway is a mile long and perfect for it) and then sometimes i'll jump in the pool to cool off after. it's finally gotten really hot out and i'm enjoying getting a tan. i've also been doing a bit of crafting, i bought a giant load of national geographics from the 70's and have been cutting them up like crazy while listening to my music. it's fun stuff. i've gotten into 21 Pilots recently, never thought i would actually love rap and screamo, but these guys are amazing.

anywho, my friend from florida, who i converted into a whovian, is coming over next weekend, i'm beyond excited. i've known this girl for a long time and we always have the best times together.

and now a photo of me and my cat, who as you can tell from this photo really loves me and missed me a lot this summer.

ha. haha. yeah, she's an epic cat.

peace out,


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

stuff happens

the other day i came across their names in my address book.
and i just stopped. and stared. i said their names, together. it sounded so right. so familiar. because that's what i'd always known them as. instantly i crossed their names out. together, they were no more. and the thought hurt.
their marriage was destroyed by sin. sin crept into his life, took over, and destroyed something that was once beautiful and good. and it left her. but she wasn't alone. she's got Jesus, and if i ever need proof that He can put anything back together and heal. then she is proof. Jesus is the answer. always. Jesus was her everything, and because of Him she's able to thrive on with her life.
but habits are hard to break, the habit of saying their names together and always expecting him to be there, is being broken.

luke 6:19 "......the people all tried to touch him, because power was coming from him and healing them all."

God is so good.


Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Ps. 37:1
"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him... do not fret, it only causes harm."


Monday, August 26, 2013

Saturday, August 24, 2013

today has been...

-listening to a lot of sad folk music.
-contemplating the terrible beauty of life itself.
-reading encouraging books.
-putting off homework.
-walks in the finally hot sun.
-keeping it together.


Thursday, August 22, 2013

"the world was steeped in maddening loveliness of sound and colour. he would think only of these things and the deep, subtle joy that they gave him."
{from rilla of ingleside, by l.m. montgomery}

as i continue to edit and sort through my photos of alaska, you guys will continue to get (hopefully) daily doses of my favourite shots until i'm done.


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

life 'round here.

::top to bottom::

map of the british isles taped to my wall.
a mountain i saw, but i can't remember where, i'm just glad i have a photo of it.
be a lamp, or a boat, or a ladder.
rain on grass.
rain on the grill.
rain on the picnic table.
corn stalks in the morning fog.


Monday, August 19, 2013

the weird summer

so i was sitting here, scrolling down through my blogger feed, and realizing..everyone's talking about summer being over. and i said to myself, no it's not! it's just beginning! but then i realized i was wrong.

summer is over. i went back to school today, i'm excited about my first full semester of college. i'll hopefully be working at pizza hut soon, and i'll hopefully have my cleaning job back. back to schedules. away with freedom. well most of it anyways.

and it's just weird to me. because i really do feel like my summer is just starting.
so even though the summer freedom is over, it feels very much like the summers of my past right now. excepting the fact that it's not really boiling out like it normally is with missouri augusts. but that just adds to the weirdness of it all.


Saturday, August 17, 2013


God is so good. even when i'm still hurting and trying to understand how things can go so wrong. He's always so good.

He's bigger than every overwhelming problem and pain you'll ever have. it's the most comforting thing, knowing i am in His hands. 

HE is overwhelming. in His goodness and mercy, with the grace He gives everyday. it really hits, though, how great He is, when things happen. i just stop and thank Him for being Him. its amazing how giant blessings come out of bad things. sometimes, after these bad things happen, it sort of feels like they needed to have happen in order for growth to occur. but of course,  we always wish it wouldn't have happened anyways.

but life happens. things go wrong, people hurt people. you find out they aren't who you thought they were.

but my God? He's always so much better. and my tiny mind is always so shocked.

my life is good, He has blessed me, He's prepared me for this school year by allowing me to go on that tour this summer. before the tour i just wanted out of here. i wanted to leave. i felt so out of place.

but not anymore. God has me here, in this tiny town, for a reason. and i'm happy to be here.

now there is something i'm going to write about, in time. i'm not ready to write about it yet. at least not on here.. it's something that happened here at home while i was gone this summer. i didn't find out about it till 5 days ago. it's something that has to do with the hurt i mentioned above.
i haven't worked through it yet, God still has a lot mending to do in my heart before i should write about it here. so for now, just be praying for me. this thing hurts, very much, and it has hurt everyone i love here. pray that i can grow through this thing, that i can come to understand Him more and love Him more.


Friday, August 16, 2013

well i'm home, and i'm ready for some rest. some sleeping in late and staying in my pj's all day. maybe taking the horse out for a ride in the evening or something..yeah. it's good to be home.


Monday, August 12, 2013

the tour is officially over. this morning as we drove through st.louis and on towards home, happy exclamations were made and smiles where everywhere. we're all so happy to be back.

even though the tour might be over, my adventures certainly aren't. i'm headed up to my sisters in springfield to visit everyone there until thursday. and then its back to my home with my mom. then orientation the next day for school and the following monday i begin my first full time semester.

life is so dang exciting.


Sunday, August 11, 2013

>> song of the summer. September by Earth Wind and Fire <<

hello there, peeps! i'm headed home! my location is currently somewhere in michigan. yesterday it was wisconsin, the day before that was minnesota and before that it was north dakota and montana. i'd never been to montana or michigan before.

i miss canadian money. do you guys know how convenient loonies and toonies are? i mean for one, they're fun to say. and really, its like this, "i don't have any money, just a bunch of change, *looks down at handful of change*, oh wait, nevermind, i have 15 bucks." not only that but the bills are so colourful and shiney! annnd moving on...

this entire summer has been absolutely amazing. i'm still trying to wrap my mind around everything i've done, everywhere i've been, all the wonderful people i've met and friendships i've made.
i love the crazyness of this road life, i'm going to miss it.

but guys, i'm beyond excited to get home. i miss my family, my pets, my house, my church, my coffee, my bed, my bathroom door, my bedroom door, and the sunsets. blah. i miss it all. i can't wait to see my mom, bestie and nephew, and i can't wait to hug my cat and ride my horse. i'm one happyhappyhappy kid.