Forgiveness

Today I am thankful for forgiveness. I've been forgiven. I can't express how it makes me feel, its one of those overwhelming feelings. Everything I've ever done, all the harm I've ever caused, bad I've done, He has forgiven me.


These words below where written by someone who understands how I feel, and perhaps how you feel when you think about all the grace that God shows you everyday. He is someone who's been blessed with the ability to convey things that I have trouble with. 




I forget the last time I felt brave,
I just recall insecurity, 
cos it came down like a tidal wave, 
and sorrow swept over me.
Then I was given grace and love, 
I was blind but now I can see, 
'Cos I found a new hope from above 
And courage swept over me. 
-Adam Young-


The Lords sets a prime example on how to forgive. In my mere existence of 17 years, I've only ever had a handful of people truly wrong me, when I did nothing to them. All the others who wronged me, well it was mutual, but there haven't been a lot of those cases, and I've forgiven them, and they me.  I'm not a conflict seeker, but sometimes I don't runaway when I should, perhaps cos I loath running away.
But to those who have wronged me, I've somehow been able to forgive them. And its only by the grace of God that I have. But just cos, in whole, I have forgiven them, doesn't mean I don't have days where I feel the hurt all over again. Hurt, or annoyance or anger at the whole situation.

 
There was the situation 4 years ago, with a certain group of people I had know for 8 years. They didn't just hurt me but my whole family. Then part of that group hurt my friends. And people don't mess with my friends without me getting upset and hurt tooEven when it seems like I'm holding on, I forgave.
I'm also not the type of person who likes to admit being hurt. Naturally I'm tough, not bragging or anything, I just am. But sometimes, I'm not as tough as I think.
Therefore I have a hard time admiting I was hurt by a certain person or situation. 
Alot of the time I prefer to do one of two things.
First, shrug it off like it was nothing then go in my room an freak out about it.
Second, become dramaticly mad to try and cover up how I'm really feeling. 
But I am thankful that even tho thats prolly not the best way to handle life, God will always continue to work with me and forgive me for messing up.
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing to experience.
And it indeed gives me courage. <3