i'll be there

so maybe your sick of this flower by now, but i'm not {there are 2 newly bloomed ones!}

have i ever told you how many instruments i've attempted to become ninja at?? attempt is a good word, because thats all it was.

starting with my first insturment, here's a list off everything i've picked up and plucked a song on here and there through my life:

the spoons {look it up}
mandolin
bones {you'll wanna look that up too}
guitar
penny whistle
mountain dulcimer
piano
violin
drums
flute {i freaking hate that thing}

i only ever succeeded on one of those, the penny whistle {a.k.a., irish penny whistle/tin whistle} i played one in a band {yeah, like a real band that actually got paid to play}, but that was a long time ago and i only randomly pick it up to play now.
and i only ever took lessons for the mandolin, but out of 6 lessons, my teacher showed up twice. sadly, i stopped attempting to play this instrument, 
chris thile was my soul influence to play the mandolin, but i dunno, maybe it just wasn't meant to be, the mandolin is still simply amazing.
music is something i grew up on, all of my siblings play some instrument, my brother eli in fact was a real life child protege {he can hear it, play it, and make it sound amazing, its not fair and most the time i hate his guts.} and my sister, toni, she's a classically trained musician, she's got a BA or something like that in classical music, and she married a dude with amazing musical skillz.
there was a spell in my life where me and my two brother had a band like i mentioned before, and my cousins are professional bluegrass players and have been all over the country touring and all that awesome stuff.

my cousins performing at SDC in branson, mo. music is their life, and needless to say, they're amazing.

so i've always had this urge to play something, but i could never stick with anything. what makes me irritated is that i know i CAN do music, but i haven't been able to keep doing it. i'm just to moody i guess. i've always felt really like i had to play something, no one really urged me to, my family doesn't believe in forcing a kid to do something like that, but i forced myself, and failed miserably almost every time.

but last christmas i bought my cello, it wasn't cheap, and right now, thats really the only thing keeping me from ditching it as well. its a beautiful instrument, and so far i'm doing everything by ear, because thats just how i roll. but i know that with an instrument like the cello, i have to have lessons.
so today was my first cello lesson, i had to learn the proper way to hold the bow and the proper way to bow. she also tired to teach me notes. that failed, i already forgot what i'm supposed to work at or what she even said.
and it didn't help that as i was leaving i met a friend {who takes violin from my teacher} and she spoiled everything by telling me notes were just math. i was like -_- I HATE MATH.
but i'll get over that. maybe..
for the past week i've been playing my cello and the guitar every day, and i really don't want to quit.

listening to music is really important to me, i couldn't live without it. i almost always have to have music on.
and i'd love to get to the point that i couldn't live without playing it either.
so we'll see, it's gonna be an interesting adventure, because this time i'm determined, and i'm learning how to find more inspiration when i'm in a rut.

so anywho, this was a rambly kinda post, and i'm ready to stop rambling now.
noni<3

ps
of course i must ask, do you play any instrument{s}??