listening to- Knighs Of Shame, by AWOLNATION
i have no original pictures today.
i'm not even sure what words i have. i'll just keep writing and see where this goes...
today was the sort of day were i barely drug myself out of bed, and an hour late at that.
i haven't had a drop of caffeine all day too, for some reason coffee slipped my mind this morning.
i feel asleep on the couch for 2 hours while trying to read. and it wasn't even noon yet.
totally unmotivated, artistic juices running on their lowest.
sometimes being artistic is draining, stressful. there's this natural urge to create.
then there's this lack of passion and inspiration.
its almost like being physically sick. actually, its worse.lately my passion and inspiration has been at a low, its honest to goodness, no fun.
-expectation is the root of all heartache-
the past few weeks have been full of expectation and longing.
they've been full of heaviness as well. waiting for answers, hoping and trusting. questioning my motives, why i ask for what i ask for.
hoping i can trust right.
i've been learning so much lately, i don't even know how to soak it all in. much less explain it.
i've had to let things go recently, that i didn't want to let go.
i've spent hours wondering whats going to happen, where i'm going, what i'm doing.
there are moments when i get so overwhelmed with happiness. moments where i build up the most wonderful castles in the sky. and even though those moments pass, and i give those castles over.
they're still there. and they make me smile, and they make me sigh. because i can't know for sure.
this was my 401st post.