listening to- Knighs Of Shame, by AWOLNATION
i have no original pictures today.
i'm not even sure what words i have. i'll just keep writing and see where this goes...
today was the sort of day were i barely drug myself out of bed, and an hour late at that.
i haven't had a drop of caffeine all day too, for some reason coffee slipped my mind this morning.
i feel asleep on the couch for 2 hours while trying to read. and it wasn't even noon yet.
totally unmotivated, artistic juices running on their lowest.
sometimes being artistic is draining, stressful. there's this natural urge to create.
then there's this lack of passion and inspiration.
its almost like being physically sick. actually, its worse.
lately my passion and inspiration has been at a low, its honest to goodness, no fun.
-expectation is the root of all heartache-
~william shakespeare
the past few weeks have been full of expectation and longing.
they've been full of heaviness as well. waiting for answers, hoping and trusting. questioning my motives, why i ask for what i ask for.
hoping i can trust right.
i've been learning so much lately, i don't even know how to soak it all in. much less explain it.
i've had to let things go recently, that i didn't want to let go.
i've spent hours wondering whats going to happen, where i'm going, what i'm doing.
there are moments when i get so overwhelmed with happiness. moments where i build up the most wonderful castles in the sky. and even though those moments pass, and i give those castles over.
they're still there. and they make me smile, and they make me sigh. because i can't know for sure.
with love,
-noni
p.s.
this was my 401st post.
wow...
I know the feeling. :P <3
ReplyDeleteI love you!
and this is a good post. C.S.Lewis has the bestest quotes.
xx
ugh yes i know this feeling. not right now. but it has made its appearance in my life before. i can't wait to here about whether you get to go or not. email me sometime. well, actually i wont be able to reply until i get home. xx
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite posts because a. Its so true, and its so authentic, and its so sincere. b. It makes me think. I like posts like that. c. Its relatable to any and every person who's a writer, a dreamer, an artist, etc. d. The quotes<3
ReplyDelete"i've been learning so much lately, i don't even know how to soak it all in. much less explain it.
i've had to let things go recently, that i didn't want to let go.
i've spent hours wondering whats going to happen, where i'm going, what i'm doing."
^^I've been there. Not knowing what is going on but knowing that something is going on? And all you can do it is watch it unfold and take what you can and keep rolling with it. Cause God is good. :)
It really is worse than being physically sick. Because when you're sick at least there's a reason for it that's easy to explain.
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful, Noni, dear.... This was an awesome post. I love you so much! I totally know what you mean about being creatively drained. I have been feeling much the same of late... But this post was beauteous. I loved it very much. Kinda inspired ME!!! :D Thank you. And those quotes. I loved them. <3 <3
ReplyDelete