there are things that i feel like i'll never get around to. things that i have no desire to get around to. just little things, really.
and sometimes its depressing seeing people chase their dreams so hard and getting what they're chasing.
i feel like i'm just sitting here on a rock watching everyone pass my by. doing new things. going to new places.
but i'm not just sitting on some rock. i'm sometimes a pessimist and often an optimist.
or am i?
i'm always the doubter.
patience is something i'm always forgetting about.
i always jump ahead of myself. i often feel like i'm running out of time. i become rushed and the need to do something is overwhelming. it creates a bad atmosphere in my heart and i just get so confused.
i am young. there's *plenty* of time left.
take. a. breath.
then go. become your own person, become that person gradually. make sure you know what you're becoming. be the person you love.
i'm about to set out on something new. a fantastic adventure.
i love that word.
i'm hoping that this trip will stretch me. i'm hoping God can use me as a source of encouragement with everyone i'm going with. they're my family and i want to be the willing and helpful spirit. i don't ever want anyone regretting that i went.
these last few weeks have been somewhat hectic. in many ways. so much to do, appointments to make and meet, school to finish, school to plan for and sign up for..so much preparation.
but also emotionally hectic.
so much has happened. there's been times of serious disappointment, like finding out i have to leave 2 days early, which means missing out on my best friends graduation ceremony/party thingy and just time in general with her.
and there's been times of extreme excitement and happiness.
i've been living high on emotion.
i've learned so much about myself. and life. by living high.
one thing people need to know about me.
never give me bad news in the morning.
i can't take it.
seriously. there will be tears.
happiness is up to me. but happiness doesn't last. those moments that take your breath away by their beauty are fleeting.
but they're worth it. every tear of madness and frustration are worth it.
maybe i take things to seriously sometimes. maybe i think to much.
there is peace in my heart. i hand everything over and there is peace.
this is my chance to do something, to prove something.
and my only wish is that whatever i do, whatever i prove will glorify my God.
when it really comes down to it. thats all i want.