Thursday, October 27, 2011

I do believe in fairies

I'm never really going to be an adult. The child inside me is simple to strong. The last 7 years of my life I've known that I'll never really grow up. That doesn't mean that I'm not mature, or responsible, even tho I tend to mess up alot, I am.
I'm going to be an adult, a legal adult, in exactly 378 days, Thats going to go by like. BAM.  I'll be starting college, hopefully I'll have a job and be driving, and I'll have alot more responsibilities on my plate, but I'll cope. The hardest part will be not having enough time to day dream and write..
I'm gifted, I'm really good with kids. I think the reason why, is that I find it the easiest thing to level myself with them. Most kids love me, most...those who don't, well its mutual I'm sure..
I'm not the type of person who extrovertedly entertains kids. Thats just not my style, I dont put on a happy face and dance for them to win their love and respect.  Unless they are irresistibly cute, and pretty little, I let them seek me out. I never go out of my way to get their attention.
And tho that might no quite sound like a "gift" to some people, kids do LOVE me..and sometimes I dont quite understand it either.
But I think the main reason, is that I have so much real childishness left in me.

I know that even when I am 30, I'll run bare foot, my weakness for swings will be just as strong, and I'll still pretend that I'm on a lone raft in the middle of a shark infested ocean, when I'm really just on a floaty in the pool with 5 screaming kids ( I'll be screaming too)
Point is, compared to most people who are sure they are still "kid like", I'm extreme.. Sometimes to extreme. Tho not many people could guess it, but thats just the introvert in me ;)
This is me, coming to the realization, that I'm going to be 17, in 13 days.
I'm having a hard time with it, even if it will be nice to be "older" :p
I don't wanna grow up. But I want all those  things that a grown up life has to offer. Just without bills, and the "acting like an adult" part.
Its rather ironic too, that half my friends are adults.. Of course, the other half are little kids.
So for me, getting older is bitter sweet, sometimes more bitter than sweet.


  1. <3 <3 I love you noni!! <3 Early happy birthday. ^_^ xoxo

  2. <3 <3 I love you too Rinskers!! <3 thanks ^_^ xoxo