self-edvident

when i was younger i'd read several hundred books a year, no kidding, they were not all huge 800pg novels, in fact the only 800pg book i've ever read was INKDEATH (my favorite fantasy fiction) and i had to limit myself to 10 chapters a day. somehow i finished it in a week. so good. but the point is, i read alot. more in the winter than the summer. the curriculum (sunlight) my mom used for my school had really good reading lists, so i was introduced to lots of good books.
my favorite were always the WWII fiction ones.
in the summer i was always to busy to read much.

right now i am reading what seems like a really heavy load of books, in fact its only 4 books. 3 thick and very good history books about the founding of America, our founding fathers and their amazing formula they based our country on, and how we have strayed soo far from what we used to be. then there is robinson cruseo. er. i am not liking it much. but i am hoping it shall grow on me (maybe i should give it a more happy attitude, i am only in the 3rd chapter!)
but.
i have not read a real story book that i have loved in over 6 months.
a  reason for this is my library SUCKS. i live on the outskirts of a small town. small towns should have better library's, but sadly, thats not true with fredmo. i mean, the librarian is really nice. and ours is rather new. but the selection is stinky.
also, like i said, i live on the outskirts..so, i don't like going to town, when i do go to town, i would much rather hit up the local antique shops than go into the library,sides when you walk into our library, the first think you see is about 10 almost homeless looking rednecks sitting hunched over the computer rotting their brains out on games and watnot. its not a very pleasant atmosphere..at least i have never found it to be.

-another strange thing. when i look at book shelves full of books, i have the hardest time finding my books. to many little letters and books all smashed together and my eyes just will not focus on anything. i could stare at a shelf that i am not familiar too for hours and not find what i am looking for. its horrible.-

moving on.
i feel like, in a way, i am really missing out.
like i have mentioned, i read alot of blogs. and it seems that everyone is reading so many *story* books/novels/series and they seem so happy bout it.
i don't know how to say this.
but i feel, actually, i know, that God wants me to be applying myself to other things.

in fact, i feel like my desire for novels and the such has disappeared . a thing i thought was highly impossible and highly immoral for the mind!

but right now. i know this is the time God wants me to be thoroughly dedicating myself to reading things that will really benefit me now, and in the future. things that will help me learn more, things that i need to know. political things, spiritual things, everything from understanding the difference between a republic and a democracy. everything from trying to understand and dissect the scripture and God's laws and teachings. knowledge i have wanted for a long time now. and now, slowly, i am starting to retain just a bit.


-you might not think that knowing the difference between a republic and a democracy, or what socialism is and how its different from communism is very important. but i find it incredibly important to know things similar to this-

to be constantly learning about these things, listening to different news/radio people talk about things and trying to figure out what i know to be right  and wrong. staying in tune with what the world is coming to.
i am discovering self-evident truths. 
especially this being an election year, i find it very important.

i know it seems pretty dull to say i only read the bible and history books.
but for the last several months, thats my reading life.
besides robinson cruseo, but he doesn't count cos i have to write a character sketch on him:p

i've never met another teen age girl, near my age, who really cared about these things. the bible part,thankfully, i have met a few. but politics? history? seriously, that stuff is for radical/boring people.
sadly. i have met few adults who really think these things are that important.

you know, i think God has laid this all on my heart tho, because the more i learn about these dull and un-interesting things ;) the more i know i need to know!
you would think with all the information i have been learning, that i would be smart by now. ha!
not that i am stupid, but when i meet and hear people who seem to know so much about things i find important, it makes me realize that i still have alot of learning to get done.
this isn't really about being smart, or knowing alot of things so that you can be a walking dictionary.
this is honestly, just my duty as an American citizen. you might find that statement ridiculous. but seriously, there are 28 principles which our founding fathers set up for the American public to follow to keep a healthy nation, and one of those principles was getting a good education, staying politically aware and taking part in voting and the like and to stay active in public affairs and on goings. but how can i expect to do these things if i don't know squat about even what my country was founded on??
exactly.

so call me the odd ball who loves her country even tho we're going down the drain. call me the overly patriotic radical glenn beck, pat, stu, an jeffy loving nut who carries the declaration of independence and the constitution booklet in her purse, but you must call me nice. or i might cry.

i know that the road i'm embarking on is the right road.a hard one..and sometimes overwhelming one. 
but for me, its the right one.
and who knows, maybe this whole history and inductive bible study thing will become me "thing" that i like. i always envy these people who have their "things" that they love and know alot about, like math, or science or whales, or horses..i've always wanted a "thing"  i guess writing, art, photography an the rest isn't enough ;)

for leisure, i shall continue to watch 21jump street, columo, alcratraz or psych and blog.
and go for lots and lots of walks<3



ps.
just a friendly word of advice, don't ever mistake contact cleanser for eye drops.

pps.
do you think i'm very odd now? i'd love to know what you think of this whole post! you guys are wonderful and you totally make my day with your loverly comments<3